The Perfect Angling Partner

The Perfect Angling Partner
by Squirrel Tail Vickers

It’s been a year without my old fishing buddy, the one who smoked too much, shared the most personal stories about me with strangers, never netted my fish on the first try, over-cooked my partridge breasts, and always made me wait for him to get up for us to have breakfast. Could anyone be a bigger looser, but I was the one who lost when he passed.
His death got me to thinking about what credentials should a perfect angling partner possess. I offer my findings to you, hoping they will help you grade your partner or perhaps help you find one.
Your partner must:
1. be blind to your personality quirks and deaf to your political incorrectness.
2. have been born with a fly-rod in-hand.
3. be ready to go when you arrive.
4. always place accompanying you ahead of any business obligations.
5. pack the best meats, sweets, and beverage for your trip.
6. be able to read a map or compass when you get lost.
7. have a current GPS system, not one that is 20 years out of date.
8. pretend to be interested in your stories.
9. have Roderick Haig-Brown’s story-telling gift .
10. have all the skills of Julia Child and Gordon Ramsey.
11. refuse to hit the sack until the kitchen is spotless.
12. be unable to remember how to count in cribbage.
13. always have extras of the “right” fly.”
14. always land fewer and smaller fish than you.
15. without a moment’s hesitation, stretch the truth about the number and size of the your fish.
16. on those few times when the fishing is fabulous, be able to convincingly explain to your significant other why you must stay at camp a few more days because “it is not safe to travel.”
Now if your partner has all these attributes, stay on guard, save this treasure be stolen from you!